A New Jacket

Hey everyone,

In one of our video conferences a few weeks ago, Rayne asked me what the Blue Jacket means to me.  So let me tell you what I told him.

I was not the kind of person who was immediately inspired to join the FFA when I saw the blue corduroy blazers.  I know that to die-hard FFA members, blue corduroy is the coolest thing ever, but let's be honest...corduroy?  Who wears that anymore?  Especially in blue!?

When I first joined the FFA, I didn't have a jacket of my own, I wore a cast-off from an older sibling whose first name had been removed- so that it only said "Kenley."  This prompted the FFA Chapter President of the time to call me "Kelly" for over a year- and that was one of the reasons I generally avoided FFA.

After I went to my first state convention, things changed...at least a little.  I really wanted my own FFA jacket...but mostly because I wanted people to stop calling me "Kelly."  I was pretty excited to see my jacket when it arrived at National Convention that year though, with my own name and "Chapter President, 2007-2008" on it.  But even after I had a jacket, I really only wore it when I had to and I'd wear it with black slacks instead of a skirt if I could get away with it.

My year as a state officer completely changed that. I ordered my jacket the day after I was elected. I loved my jacket and if I went a week without wearing my official dress, it was too long.  I always had crevats and black nylons in abundance, and by the end of my year of service, my shoes looked like they'd been through a grain grinder.  

My jacket, unfortunately, also shows signs of a year well-served.  The elbows are worn down, and a small spot on my sleeve reminds me to always take off my jacket before eating- because apparently dry cleaning doesn't wash out enchiladas.  That jacket has been dry cleaned so many times that the fantastic bright blue has faded to a less impressive light blue.

I love that jacket dearly, but when I really made up my mind to run for National Office, I wanted a new one.  One that would say to the world, "2010 National Officer Candidate," right under my name.  I thought, "Even if I don't make it, it'll be nice to have this jacket to remember everything I did to prepare."

Then, I went on the website and remembered that jackets cost $60.  For a college student, that's a lot of money, especially for a jacket I'll wear only until October...so I decided just to wear my old jacket.  I was disappointed, but I knew it was just a....stupid...jacket, right?

Oddly enough, I was thinking about my old, worn out State Officer jacket yesterday morning, before I called to chat with my mom.  I'd been feeling homesick, and I was dying to hear about the State Convention.  Hearing about it was hard though, because it reminded me that I wasn't there, and I wish I had been.

Then, out of the blue, my mom said, "Do you remember who Jason Miller is?  He was the State President before Lori, and he always helps out at convention.  When he found out you were running for National Office, he gave us $70 and said to use it to buy you a new jacket."

Right then, at that moment, I felt like I was going to cry.  (And right now, in this moment, I am).  I know who Jason Miller is but I don't know him very well, and I didn't know he knew who I was at all.  What a simple gesture, but what a sweet donation.  I don't know if he knew how much a knew jacket would mean to me....but it means the world.  And now that I can actually get one, I realize how much I really wanted one all along.  

I'm so grateful for Jason, and my family, and Rayne, and everyone who is in any small way helping me with this process.  Sometimes I get so busy and frustrated that I feel like quitting, but I can feel your support behind me.   Even something so simple as a new jacket that I so desperately wanted and am so incredibly thankful for makes a tremendous difference.  I am just in awe of what everyone I know does to support me, by reading my blog, asking me interview questions, listening to me rehearse stories, helping me schedule classes, talking to people who might be able to help me out...or just buying me a new jacket.  I have such wonderful people surrounding me while I make this big effort.  I love you all.  I can't thank you enough.

And I'm stoked to order my new jacket the minute I get home! :)  But after I wear that one, you know what would be even better?  A brand new jacket that only had this on the back:

Man, if I could put on a jacket like that, it would be fantastic.

Rachel

What I Miss Today:

Well the FFA Convention is either over, or ending, right now.  I wish I was there so bad!  Seeing these pictures Rayne posted on Facebook made me really think about the convention...it feels like it didn't happen, because I've been here worrying about school instead of running around the depot and feeling like I'm going to explode from stress.

Man, I love FFA so much!  Just seeing all these guys in their FFA jackets, that I've gotten to know and love, fills me with a sense of...I don't know what....pride?  People say we're from Alaska, there isn't agriculture here, etc. but I know these kids and I know what they're capable of, and I know the FFA program can bring out their leadership potential.

Ah!  I miss Alaska.  I think I'm just going to start a new leadership book and then go to bed, try to keep my mind off of things.  Only 2 weeks left until I'm home!

--Rachel

Oh wait!  PS, guess what?  I've done another

50 Hours! 

of study as of Thursday!  That's 150 altogether.  It seems like it's taken a long time, and it has taken 7 weeks...but hey, it's something to celebrate.  I think I'm going out to lunch with my dorm mates at the Indian Oven to "celebrate life" tomorrow, and this 50 hours is something on my list to celebrate!  50 hours closer to my goal of 500...here I come...


PPS- Mom just texted me and said Palmer won the Parli Pro contest!  Awesome job guys, I can't wait to practice with you this summer!

Good Day, Sunshine

Hey guys,
It's not actually sunny outside.  It's raining and very windy.  But I feel good!  So apparently, weather actually has very little do with my mood.  So, to make up for the depressing-ness of a few posts, I'll give you some bullets about why life is awesome:

• For some strange reason, though my video would not function on my computer or on Youtube, once I got it onto Facebook, it decided to function!  They watched it today and I think it went over well.  
• My classes are finally all figured out for next semester!  After a few minor set backs, I finally reached the right teachers and got into the right classes.  I'm going to have 4 credits of ASTE 3900: Independent Study in solving Agricultural Problems- basically, just studying for National Office.  I also have 3 credits of a general class, Creative Arts, and 3 credits of Music 1010, for my music minor, 1 credit of piano lessons, and 2 credits of Intro. to Ag Education.  Hooray for finally having everything all figured out once again!
• My History and Hollywood journalism project that was giving me an ulcer is over and (I think) aced.  I never have to do another project form JCOM 2010 ever again.
• I finished "Encouraging the Heart" yesterday and have some great ideas for interesting things to study.
• I'm almost positive that I have never looked as pretty as I do today.  At least not my face.
• I might get to have a video conference with Rayne tonight- which is one of my favorite parts of the week.
• The House episode "Lockdown" was AWESOME!
• My room is semi-clean.

Just a few reasons why life is grand, and I am happy.

A few more fancy shots for you.  The one on the left is from last Wednesday, I dressed up for my piano recital.  No eyeliner, I ran out of it.  My lips weren't really that pink, but the yellow lighting makes the colors weird.

The other one is from today.  It's probably more make-up than I would do on an everyday basis, but I did it for my history project.  We all dressed up like we were from the fifties.  It looks awesome...it only took me almost an hour to do. :)  You can't see my eyeshadow, but I bought some pretty pink/brown sparkly powder.  I like it a lot.  I also curled my eyelashes.  Another thing I would not take the time to do normally- makes a really cool difference!

Happy Earth Day!

Rachel

Celebrating My Year as a State Officer

Hey everyone,
Today, the 2010 Alaska State Convention begins.  If you're in Palmer, you should stop by the Depot to see the cool stuff the kids are doing.  My sisters Amy and Lori have worked really hard securing sponsoring and organizing everything.

The start of the convention is a  little bittersweet for me.  It's sad because it's the first time in four years that I won't be there, and because its the one year anniversary of my retirement as a state officer.  But it's sweet because it's the two year anniversary of my election.

Just for nostalgia's sake, here's a photo slideshow of all the great times I had as a state officer.  Enjoy.

Finally, the video!

Yeah!  4 minutes and 39 seconds of "heck yes, it finally worked!"

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=378456929354&saved

Frustration and Facilitation

Hey guys,
It's a beautiful sunny day outside and I should be happy.  But I feel upset and discouraged.  In bullet form here's why:

• Yesterday I spent a loooong time trying to make my video for state convention in Alaska- which starts tomorrow.  After burning my ankle with my overheated laptop (seriously!) I finally figured out what I wanted to say and how, and got a good recording, but the audio doesn't sync up with the video, and for the life of me, I can't figure out how to get it to.  Unless anyone has any tech-knowledge I don't, I won't have a video for convention. :(
• I thought I had my class schedule all worked out yesterday, only to find out today that I can't take one of the classes I wanted to, so it's back to the drawing board.  Registering for classes is made infinitely more difficult when I have to check with each teacher and ask, "Would it be okay if I had to drop out of your class three weeks early?"  I abhor it.  And I wonder if I really am making the right choice by taking an easy semester.
• Today I volunteered to help judge the Agricultural Communications CDE.  It took over an hour longer than it was supposed to, and because I was 2 seconds too late for Media Smarts, I missed class and a quiz.  And my project due Thursday is not even close to being done!
• Buying new make up doesn't make me any better at putting it on.

...and other things.  But hey, I know from experience that dwelling on what gets me down never does anything to help me get back down.  I know this is just the first of many times I will doubt what I'm doing, feel down on myself, even consider quitting.  But I'm not quitting.  This is what I want and hard times only make success sweeter...right?

So let's talk about something else.  In Society and Disability class today (I did get to go to that one) we watched a video about teaching children with learning disabilities, and it made me think a lot about facilitation.  I don't blog much about facilitation right now, because I'm not doing very much of it, but that will hopefully change when I get home for the summer.

I got to present a workshop at the Utah Leadership Conference in December, before I started this blog, that helped me improve my skills quite a bit.  One thing I remember is talking with the other workshop presenters afterwards about how their workshops went, and we all had picked out the kids that were problems.  They weren't really "problems," of course, but they went against the grain- didn't play along with the games, asked too many questions, gave input that really didn't help establish the point, or what have you.  As a workshop presenter, these kids can be hard to work with, and sometimes you wish they'd just act like the others.

A leadership book I read earlier this year (and the title escapes me right now...I think it was by John C. Maxwell) presented something called the 80/20 principle, which says you should pour 80 percent of your energy into your top twenty employees/students/people.  

I usually agree with leadership books, but this principle really bothered me.  I think I'm more of a 20/80 principle type of a person.  High school kids who are juggle four after school activities, a part time job, and a 4.0 GPA don't really need me.  Of course I am going to give them as much attention as I can, but I really think my job as an FFA facilitator is to focus on those who I could really help to make important changes in their lives.

But how does that apply to facilitation?  Because like I said, those students who need the most help are typically those who "ruin" the workshop.  I keep thinking about ULC and I remember that there was an attendee there with an obvious mental disability.  I should have reached out to her, but I just ignored her.  That was so wrong.

But back to the video we watched.  It was about teaching- not facilitation.  When I was younger, I really wanted to be a teacher.  The glitter has worn off a little now, I don't think I want  a full-time career as a teacher, but I still have an interest in it.  I think that's why I was so drawn to state, and now national office- because I get to be a teacher to students without doing it full time.

I heard somewhere that a lot of kids want to be teachers when they grow up because that's the only occupation they've really been exposed to.  I also think it's because teachers have a lot of influence over their students during the year or two they have them in their care.  That's obvious for me because I picked Mr. Geisler as one of the people who has had the most influence in my life.

Teachers can do a lot of good, and a lot of harm, to their students.  I remember Mr. Geisler and all the great things he did for me, but the two other very vivid memories I have from middle school are from 6th and 8th grade, when two very well-meaning and good teachers hurt my feelings and made me cry because of some faulty teaching techniques.  

I don't blame those teachers at all, it was honest mistake and I still hold them in the highest regard.  But what I remember is not all the days of excellent teaching- but the one day of utter humiliation and embarrassment.  I think sometimes teachers don't realize how their teaching tactics really effect students, which is what the movie focused on.  The "teacher" in the video illustrated some things that teachers typically do that don't make sense, such as punishing or bribing students to answer questions they honestly cannot answer.  

What I got from this is that you can't beat a dead horse.  If I'm trying to make a point in a workshop, and it isn't working, I'll just have to switch tacts and be adaptable.  I'm not perfect- I certainly don't claim to be.  I had a few moments at ULC where I felt like I really got through to the students and did some last minute changes to my workshop which really worked well.  Other moments, I ended up looking like an idiot.

To wrap up, my philosophy on workshops is to be adaptable.  I'm going to focus on trying to reach all the students, not just the high achievers.  I'm going to try to always uplift and never degrade, because I certainly don't want student's only experience with me to be one they remember because I was mean to them.

I hope the rest of your Tuesday is great, and here's hoping mine gets a little better too,

Rachel

Pooped

Hey guys,
I went jogging in the cemetery this afternoon. It was SO hot outside. But I jogged for half an hour. It was a nice day and a very pretty place- so it was as enjoyable as it could be- ignoring the fact that running makes me feel like I'm giving birth inside an iron lung during summer in Africa.  (I have no idea what that would feel like, by the way.  I've never given birth, been in an iron lung, or traveled to Africa.)


After I ran I had a video conference with Rayne.  Maybe the exercise took all the energy out of me...I was kinda off my game.  Next week should be better.

Right now I'm working on making a little video shout out to the Alaska State Convention.  I was working on it last week, and I was getting really frustrated, I just couldn't seem to figure out what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.  But I talked to Rayne about it and I have a good idea now.  I'll post it here (if I can figure out how) in a day or two.

I have a lot more I could say, I'm just too tired to say it.  Tomorrow I'm meeting with my adviser to talk about what classes I'm going to take next semester.

Have a great Thursday,
Rachel

What Day is it?

It's George Washington's Birthday!

And all you FFA Members had better know what that means....yeah, it's FFA Week!

There's no celebration here at the University that I am aware of, so I've been celebrating it by studying (which I always do anyway...), changing my profile pic to one of me in OD on Facebook, and...this post.

Thanks, FFA, for four awesome years, and here's to a few more! :)
Rachel