9:30- Creative Arts Class
10:20- Piano Practice
11:30- Piano Lesson
12:00- When I was supposed to have lunch, except I forgot to pack it...
12:30- Choir
1:30- Walked back to my car and then driving around lost in Logan
2:00- Arrived at the temple to do baptisms. Felt some much needed peace.
3:00- Go back to the condo. Eat lunch, fold some laundry, temporarily avoid responsibility.
4:00- Search every shoe store in Logan for official dress shoes!
5:30- Arrive on campus triumphant, with two potential shoe candidates and four pairs of black nylons. Study for thirty minutes.
6:00- Visit Scott in his new apartment, eat dinner, watch Glee!
7:00- Improv Practice
9:00- Antics Troupe Auditions. Had to pay scrupulous attention, because people's "happiness depends on me."
12:15- Cast votes for who the two new troupe members should be.
12:30- Argued about vote results.
12:35- Went back to Scott's apartment to pick up the keys that I left there 6+ hours before.
12:45- Returned to my car and began driving back to the condo for the night.
12:47- Got pulled over by a cop because my headlight is out and I forgot to turn on my brights. Asked for mercy because it was (techincally!) my birthday.
1:00- Back on the road. Feeling melancholy.
1:10- Returned to the condo. Ate a Fudgsicle because I felt crappy.
1:20- Collapse into bed to have bad dreams about dying elephants and their elephant offspring.
Today was just as stressful, if not more, and included taking my car to the shop and riding the bus onto campus, passing out improv fliers, and carrying my Minnesota luggage with me everywhere...resulting in looking like an idiot.
On my way to the airport I had some time to just sit and think, which was nice. I also had some time to read more in my new book, Blue Jackets Gold Standards, the FFA 75th Anniversary Book, which I am really enjoying so far. And I got to a section about the Creed, so I started going over it.
*Embarrassing Confession*
I don't really know the Creed by heart...at least, not anymore. I used to, at one time, but now the third and fourth paragraph just jumble all together in my head for some reason.
So because of this embarrassing confession, I thought I might go over the Creed in my head again and try to get it to stick. What if someone this weekend asks me to recite it...or worse, someone at Convention!?
I stopped when I got to the last line in the third paragraph, which reads:
"[I believe] in being happy myself and playing square with those whose happiness depends upon me."
And then I thought about my melancholy last night. What it was about anyway, I'm not exactly sure...I just felt kind of blah. Like my life has been going by too fast and it's been to stressful, I don't know. And then I had this stupid thought (or half a thought): "But when/if I become a National Officer-" and I was going to think, "I'll be happier," but I stopped myself and finished the sentence with "nothing will change."
What a stupid thing to think, even though I know that happiness is the key to success, and not the other way around. Besides, life as a National Officer...would be hard! I'd be just as stressed if not more, and I know if I don't learn to be happy now, it's not magically going to come then.
Just like when I was a state officer. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be a state officer more than anything in the world but that didn't mean my senior year was fun all the time. In fact, I was unhappy a lot, even though I was very blessed and fortunate and successful.
I never thought of it as something I stood for, being happy. Whenever I've studied the Creed before I always focused on the second paragraph and told my story of being chased by the goose. I never even really, fully comprehended that if I really live by the FFA Creed, that means that I believe in being happy.
So that's another thing I'm working on. And this weekend is bound to bring some happiness, because (1) it's my birthday, and (2) I'm in Minnesota attending a National Officer Candidate Training Weekend! It already reminds me of my good old State Officer summer... I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to be here this weekend and I know I'll learn a lot.
Two other things on my mind tonight.
1) FFA has had a huge jump in membership, have you heard? The official tally for this year is 523,309 members, which I find incredibly exciting.
2) I feel very confident today. I don't know why that is exactly. I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing and I just feel...confident in my abilities. Which is a very calm feeling. Awesome.
Well I have an early morning tomorrow. I'll keep you posted! (get it?)
Rachel
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