ANOTHER Big Announcement?

Hey there everyone,
"Where have I been," right?  I have not blogged about preparing for National Office, at all. Shame on me.  And you know what....this blog post isn't about running for National Office at all.  So what is going on in my life?  I know you're just dying for me to tell you....

Yep, I'm engaged to Micah Fry.  We've been dating off and on for almost six years (so calm down when you start thinking this is super fast.  It is, but it's not.) The wedding is December 17th.  You're all invited to my reception in Alaska.

What happened?  This is crazy!  Two weeks ago I was at a training conference in Chicago and I thought, "man, I really have a shot!"  I was so excited to be a National Officer, but I was (and am) also in love.  And Micah and I started to feel like we should get married.  Problematic.

When I decided to run for Nationals again, I made it very clear that it was conditional on Micah's return and whether or not I felt like I needed to get married instead- so I knew my state would support me if I withdrew my candidacy.  That doesn't mean I wanted to, it was a really difficult and sad decision for me.  I'll say this- I have a testimony that God does answer prayers, and I got a clear answer: marriage is a covenant, marriage is a commandment, marriage is more important.  And I don't want to get mushy on you...but I love that boy, and I do want to marry him!  I'm learning a lot about sacrifice and unselfishness.  I had to give up National Office, but it was the right thing to do and I'm okay with that.

Some of you are probably going to read this and feel angry, or disappointed, or just think I'm stupid for giving everything up so close to Convention.  And that's okay, because I know I'm doing the right thing.  If you think about it, marrying your best friend is a pretty rad alternative, right?

To all my candidate friends: I will be watching RFDTV on Saturday with bated breath.  I love all of you and I want you to be elected SO BAD.  I'm glad that Nationals will have a group of officers that doesn't include me, because FFA members deserve to have leaders who can give the organization their WHOLE heart, not just a piece of it.  You are in my thoughts and my prayers these next few weeks.

Finally, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of me.  Thank you to my family and to Rayne and the Alaska state officers...thank you to the crew in Chicago who helped me train, thank you to everyone I've met in the past year that have uplifted me and made me the person I am today.  You are all awesome.

Here We Go Again: Coffee, Packing, and a Highly Publicized Plane Wreck

Hey there, blog world.

Lemme say first of all, that I have missed this blog, although I didn't realize that until this week.  I love writing here and I have a bajillion ideas of new things I'm going to do this time around on here.  You'll be introduced to one of them at the end of this post.  Awesome.

So, as far as studying goes, I'm not seriously doing any until I get back to Alaska, June 16.  What am I doing until then, you ask?  Well, I'm glad you did, 'cuz I'm dying to tell you. :)

I've thought about a study abroad program for a long time, but there's something you should know about me: I'm kind of a chicken.  But this spring I found myself living in Logan (instead of out of a suitcase, like I'd planned) and took the first step by going to a study abroad fair.  There I got a million different flyers and booklets on a million different study abroad programs- quite overwhelming.  I then painstakingly compiled them into a ginormous spreadsheet and narrowed my options.  Long story short, after being denied two awesome internships, I found myself looking at a few different programs...and considered just going home to Alaska like the scaredy-cat I am.  But I was listening to Harry Potter on tape at the time, and heard my fictional idol, Albus Dumbledore (who else?) give me some sound advice:

"Let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."

Semester at Sea it is, then.  I'll be leaving on Wednesday: starting in the Bahamas, then embarking on this awesome ship, the MV Explorer, and traveling to Costa Rica, Panama, Guatemala, Belize, Honduras, and Trinidad.  While on the boat I'm taking Spanish and a class called "Food Safety and Security," which is really ag-based, so I'm psyched about that.  I'll also be taking a lecture course called "Engineering a New Tomorrow"...I'm just not quite sure what that involves.  I'm really excited, but also really nervous.  As a family friend pointed out to me recently, I don't know another soul going.  But this is a good thing.  It will really test my ability to be social and make friends.  It will also test my ability to be an example of my faith...since I will not be in Utah and will most likely be the only LDS student aboard.

So, for the next month I'll be doing that.  I have absolutely no idea whether or not I'll update this blog.  The only studying for National Office I'll really be doing is reading, as far as I know right now.  And the experience will be study enough, I'm sure.

I've got a few books left over from last year that I either never read or never finished.  I started one of them tonight, because I got really sick and tired of organizing and packing up all my stuff (moving really sucks).  The book is called "Brown Like Coffee," Morgan Parker recommended it to me last year.  It definitely isn't a leadership book, but it's interesting.  It's especially interesting for me, because it's all about living a Christ-centered life and discipleship.  Not that I don't believe in that- it's just a different vocabulary and way of looking at things.  So far I enjoy it...not sure how helpful it will be, but it makes me think, so that's good.  (And it has already quoted Albus Dumbledore in the first chapter.)  And I enjoy highlighting and writing in books once again. :)

Next up to read: Good to Great and Resonate, both suggested by a new friend, Samuel Cornthwaite...and a few other cheap ones I picked up at DI just for fun.  I can't think of their names right now and am too lazy to go find them.

Alright, this is getting long, so I'll wrap up.  As the last part of this entry, I'll introduce one of the new things I want to do in my posts, and that's blogging about people that inspire me...whether or not I've ever met them.

This first person is one of those in the "people who inspire me who are also complete strangers" categories.  Her name is Stephanie Nielson.  She is a popular LDS "mommy-blogger," but she also has an incredible life story which includes getting in a near-fatal plane crash, surviving, and going back to a new life as a changed person.  I am an avid follower of her blog, The Nie Nie Dialogues, and you can read her story there.  I watched a 20/20 special on it tonight, and even though I was already familiar with the story, I was impressed once again.  I just kept seeing pictures of her (before her body was burned) and thinking about how gorgeous she was.  And- how gorgeous she is.  She really exudes self-confidence in a way that impresses the heck out of me.  I wish that I could be as secure with myself and my abilities as she is.  And I've caught myself thinking that of course she is so strong, she's older than me. (Probably because she has four kids.)  But she's only 29.  So, not a good excuse, Rachel.  I'm so glad for people, even stranger bloggers, who inspire me.

Who inspires you?


Preview for whenever my next blog post is: watch out for incredible international experiences, a thank you shout out to all my supporters (already!), a post about the role religion plays in my adventure, and a post about a favorite friend who bears the name of a Peanuts character...you know who you are. :)

-Rachel

Round 2

Well, I guess that wasn't my last post after all.  I have an announcement to make:

I've been thinking about running for National Office again for a long time...like, since last National Convention, really.  But in the last few weeks, I've thought about it non-stop. And even though I hadn't made up my mind about it yet, I couldn't pack away my jacket or any of my study materials.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I really, really wanted another shot at it.

But in the front of my mind was fear, and a lot of it.  I was naive last time around about how it would feel to not be selected, and now that I know exactly how it feels, I'm terrified to feel it again.  It was harder than I thought it would be to pick myself up off the ground and deal with that tremendous disappointment.  So I would tell everyone I was still thinking about running, without making any commitment.

Two weeks ago, I decided it was time to figure out what I should do and I took the matter to the Lord.  I studied my scriptures searching for answers, I fasted, I prayed...and I felt like I wasn't getting an answer at all, at least not one that I liked.  My question was, "Should I run for National Office again?" and the answer I got was, "Do whatever you think you should do."  And then I got scared again.  I called my mom and told her how scared I was of the future and of failure...and of my biggest insecurity: that if I am not selected once again, I will not be able to handle it.  She, wisely, said that was stupid, that I would be fine and probably be more equipped now to deal with it than last year.

That night I studied my scriptures again, but I wasn't expecting to find an answer.  And I didn't- not to the question I thought I was asking at least.  I did get an answer to my deepest fear though, in Phillippians 4:13

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." 

I realized then that if I wanted to run again, I would have the strength to do so.  And I decided to think on it some more.

Yesterday, I spoke with Rayne for a long time about all my insecurities, I said that I probably would run...that I knew that I would decide to run, eventually,  but just hadn't realized it yet (if that makes any sense.)  When I got off the phone though, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about my plans for this summer and how I would study for National Office...and I felt happy, and satisfied, and excited.  And I realized that I had just decided.

In the book "Improv," Mick Napier introduces a concept called "forsaking your fear."  (That's edited- he actually uses an inappropriate word...but you get the idea.)  I kept thinking about that last night and how if you don't forsake your fear, you don't get anywhere in improv.  How true that is for me in my life right now: if I don't just let go of everything I'm afraid of, I'll never run for National Office again and I'll always regret it.

I was still a little nervous about my sudden decision, and told myself that in the morning, if I could write my decision out for the world to see, on flip charts, then I would have truly made up my mind.

World, you've seen the flip charts now.  I've decided.  I'm doing it, again.  


And I'm totally stoked. :)